"Missing you...."

My Guitar Club is Missing me, I miss my college buddies; you may be missing her, she may be too; My family is missing me & I miss them too. There are so many people you may be missing but How does it feel when somebody says "missing you / Tumhaari yaad aa rahi hai"? Obviously great, at least I feel great. Whenever somebody says that s/he is missing your presence either because of some special occasion or just without any reason, you feel lucky because at least there is somebody who cares for you, who needs you with him/her, who thinks your presence could make those moments of their life even more cheerful which are not more then some happy moments now.

But is it really easy to express to somebody that you are missing her/him? Definitely it is not that easy as it may sound. It has been more then 10 years since my high school, I have never told my family that I am missing them. Was it because I didn't miss them? No, I miss them most but now I feel I can't say that to them because it will show that I am not strong enough, which is not admissible to me.

In the same manner there are many people who are missing you, who need you in their life but never told you this ever. But, believe me, you should not do the same. Always express it if you are missing somebody or otherwise you may loose that person because s/he doesn't know if you really need her/him in your life.

So..Go....Grab the moment & Express what you need to say.

Across the Shores.....

We talk a lot about it, we work on it but probably we just don't understand it. What I am saying here may have come out from my own perception only but this is the meaning I get from Onshore-Offshore Model.

It is the concept almost every person, who works in Indian IT industry or who gets some work after developed world bangalored few of the jobs to this third world country, would be aware about . Frankly saying, Indian IT industry is surviving on this concept upto a large extent as still Indian IT industry does not has domestic market for IT & IT enabled services that are being provided by plethora of shops across the country. The erstwhile curse, its population, of India turned up as a boon for the Indian business, whose big part now comes from IT.

By the way here we are not discussing about Indian IT industry because much has already been said about that at many places, in many forums, we want to talk a little about its Onshore-Offshore Model, in which one team which needs to work on one project gets divided into two parts. Out of these two teams, One comes to Client Location & other works from their native location to make the processes cost effective.

However easy it may sound, its a tedious task to manage the expectations, egos & productivity of these two teams to achieve a common goal. As somebody gave a comment in my previous entry that "its half of the world which is suffering from Ego issues which are also the root cause of most of the altercations....", Managing Egos is a most daunting task of this model. Now there are two type of compositions of an Onshore team:

1>

Few members of Offshore team who had been working on the same project for some time, recognized by their supervisors & Clients, get the chance to represent the team in front of clients / customers. OR

2>

Some people with required number of experience who got selected by business managers come to work as an interface between company & client.

First scenario is still quiet manageable, however, managing these two different teams that are working for same project to achieve common goals, becomes more complicated in second case. Few reasons what I could elicit from my understanding & experience in this model are:

a>

In First scenario, where a person who came to Onshore is well versed with the problems because s/he may already have faced those problems at Offshore & in most of the cases s/he would be having a good & cordial relationship with her/his team.

But In second scenario, People who come to become the interface, are very new people for the team members who had been working on that project for a considerable duration of time. This low level of comfort between these teams creates many issues. Among them & the biggest, I understand, is Ego-clashes between counterparts.

b>

Another problem these teams face generally is lack of understanding about each other's work between counterparts which becomes even worse in second scenario.

c>

Third, & however not so important reason, from my point of view, is Day-Time difference which creates many hurdles in the proper communication between both teams.

There are many problems, nevertheless, as each problem has some solution these do as well. From my understanding we should follow few things especially if we are in second scenario:

I>

Existing Team Members should be more accommodating towards changes because change is the only constant thing in life. They should respect & try to understand the new members who are at Onshore.

II>

New members should be patient enough & should work to prove themselves that they really deserve a ever-longing position like the one they got.

III>

Leaders of teams across the shores should communicate regularly to eliminate the communication gap from the first day itself. This should come as a initiative from the one who is senior in the project.

IV>

The leader, no matter which side of shore he is, should not be over-enthusiastic & knowingly or unknowingly should not try to become a leader of old team which is already being led by somebody.

V>

At least for first few days senior people of project should work together to create a better understanding between themselves only after that other team members should be involved. Till that time they should be led in the usual manner as they were being.

In short, if we could manage only two things, Ego & Changes, we would not find any difficulty with this fundamental & coveted model of Indian IT.

EGO....My Biggest Enemy

"The “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought." this is the way in which Dictionary.com defines Ego.

I have lost many people I wanted to be with & I don't know thats because of me, my ego or because of the other person. I am shy of talking to others because I am afraid of being ridiculed. Though its not up to the extent that I could term it Catagelophobia, but I have definitely suffered a lot from it. People say I am confident, people say I am very active but nobody knows how much effort I make to overcome this fear. But when it comes to personal relationships this fear is still invincible for me.

I don't know why its today that I am thinking about it, may be because today I am realizing that its a long way I need to go to exterminate this ego from my inner self, otherwise I'll find myself alone in this world in the crowd of billions.

Hope...The Spinal Cord of The Life

Hope is the only thing which remains there till you die because once you loose hope you are not alive any more. Sometimes you know the truth but you choose not to believe it because you gotta hope that things will turn up in the way you want. But there are many times when you face something which makes you realize that you are not practical towards the life & expecting something to happen which is next to impossible.

When you like someone you like everything about her/him, you like everything linked to her & everything having a least similarity with her. Today I like all natives of one particular state, I like all people who got anything matches with her, because that reminds me about her & that make me smile. We know we are poles apart but what make me feel good that opposite poles attract each other though on the contrary what we forget every time that though opposite poles attract each other they never meet.

Its not that I am not trying, but when anybody asks me about anybody I like the most, its only one face which comes to my mind.

Its almost everyday that my colleagues ask me about my girl-friend, a person I love & every time I am not sure what to say. I can't tell that there is someone I have a big crush on but we are not more then friends any more.......

....& I don't see any other in my life so close at least in near future.

An alien missing many things.....

"An alien authorized to work"....thats the manner in which USA government defines a foreigner on Working Visa. Its more then 10 days for me that I am in states. With mixed feelings I can't say whether I like to be here or not. When I do the analysis then few things favor that I should like this place then few other things made me sad.

There are few great things I like about US like....

Before I came here, somebody told me that US people are best people in the world & I think that person was not wrong up to extent. We, in Mumbai, just claim to be friendly but these are the people who are more friendly then us.

They care for others.

Apart from People, life is comfortable over here. they have got a standard of living here which is not there in India. Infrastructure, roads etc.

You can afford luxury over here, which is a property of few millionaires in a city like Mumbai.

The TCS -Equifax group I got is really good. people are very helpful & empathetic.

But on the same time there are few things I am really struggling to cope up with:

Struggling to make an impression on fellow Co-workers. Though my American manager is projecting me as a technology expert, I don't think I have been able to impress my Fellow Indian Co-workers till now.

Other thing, I am really struggling in getting a Mobile Connection, which is just too difficult without SSN.

But above all, I am just missing someone so much that out of 24 hrs, 12 hrs, this person is on my mind. Though we were not talking or meeting frequently when I was in Mumbai, I am missing her too much here.....more then what I expected when I was coming here.

First evening in US.....

Things have really not been easy till now. I used to think it should be very comfortable to reach your place while traveling overseas but as a wise man said, when things start going another way, then they don't stop until u reach your destination. It happened to me as well and my struggle continued in the US.Things have really not been easy till now. I used to think it should be very comfortable to reach your place while traveling overseas but things were not that easy.

After getting down at Newark International Airport, New Jersey, I tried to get some info about the hotel where there was a room booked by Air India for my overnight stay before I proceed to Atlanta. I somehow located the Air India counter and a fellow Indian over there. He inquired and told me that it was Hotel Holiday Inn I needed to check-in. As I stepped out of the airport, wait for my shuttle seemed even longer because of the chilling winds piercing my body like a knife.

However, my real challenge came when I reached the hotel. It was an unexpected situation. The guy at the reception told me that the booking slip I had with me was not enough & he required an Air India Voucher. Now things were becoming difficult cause I didn't even have any contact no. of Air India where I could call & confirm the things. Ultimately I asked for the manager & told him that I'll pay for myself but before he should confirm that with Air India & check the status. He agreed, after 10-20 minutes of talk, the situation came under control. The manager made a Voucher for me, gave me the keys & escorted me to the room where I was expected to have some rest before morning struggle begins.

As I was too tired, I just unbuttoned myself & got into the bathroom where I had my first interaction with Toilet-paper :-). After relieving myself with this toilet paper I just switched on the taps for tub & just unwound myself in the hot water of the tub.

Couldn't sleep because of back pain arose due to a long journey & nervousness of catching the next flight. For the flight of 8 O' Clock, I got ready @ 3'O Clock only & reached the airport by 4 to catch a flight to Atlanta.

By 10 PM I was walking down the longest airport terminal as I was not aware of the shuttle trains inside the airport. Anyway, finally, my struggle seemed over as I stepped into the cab to Exit 11, Alpharetta home. I was so relieved reaching my destination, I gave the driver $50 tip on $50 invoice.

First trip to states

Flying across sea-shores is definitely a new experience & if you are doing it the first time then it becomes really special......

Saturday, Feb 28, 2008, early Morning in India.....didn't sleep whole night...coz next day got to catch the flight.

Pic: Waiting before boarding the flight

It's 3' O Clock...Roomies were just trying to pass night somehow to avoid sleep, so did I. At 3:30 I got up, zipped my bags & ask them to get ready to see me off to Airport. I went to look for a cab. Got the cab, loaded my bags & ourselves in it.

Within few minutes, 4' O clock, and we were @ the airport. My room-mates were not allowed go beyond a point, so I had to see them off there only & proceed to check-in my luggage. And by 4:30 AM, after completing all the immigration formalities, I was in waiting hall for the flight of 7:50 AM. It was really very boring & frustrating to wait in a room on sub-normal temperature & I was still thinking about yesterday's evening how sweet it was. To save myself with this, I plucked earphones of my mobile in my ears to listen to some music which could cost me very dearly. While I was enjoying my music, they were announcing the boarding of the flight AI-191 & it was just 10 minutes before the flight when I asked somebody about it & got the answer the flight had already started being boarded. It was really a panic situation for me. I picked my handbag & started rushing towards Gate# 16 for the boarding. Suddenly I got a call from an unknown no. & it was the Pilot of the AI-191. He was asking why I m being late & his flight is being delayed because of me. I didn't have anything to say except seeking an apology.

Anyway, I boarded the flight.

The first view of an international flight was surely not pleasant. So many people, so many bags, Air-hostess 'aunts' (as it was Air India) blocking the way to move forward. SO much turmoil in the flight.....God....guess it was not enough for the day :-), yet to see much more. Somehow I got my allotted seat but what I see - somebody had already captured it & this was the last thing you could expect on a flight at least in an international flight. As I thought I might have mistaken, I asked Air-hostess about Seat# 49A & she helplessly pointed towards the same seat. Now I had to confront the person directly who were sitting there. But, oh god, they were German People & not very good with English. Nevertheless, what I could understand from their statement that they were father & son who were allotted separate seats while they wanted to sit together. They were asking me if I could sit on the seat allotted to them & I answered that I requested for window seat & I wanted to sit there only. On this, that person requested his son to go on his seat but his eyes were still requesting me.

I don't know why, but this was the first time in a long time when I got the feeling that I was not a person only, I was an Indian & my adamant nature would affect India's image adversely at least in the eyes of all those foreigners who were seeing this conversation. So I left my point & relinquished my seat & took another seat.

It was the longest day of my life, lasted almost 20 hrs. After almost 10 hrs we had a halt at Paris International Airport & those German people left the flight there. while they were leaving the flight they thanked me but I saw that as they were not thanking me, but with the gesture & posture of 'Namaste', they were thanking an Indian. I acknowledged that & smiled.