First hand account from Mumbai

This is the mail, I got from one of my friends who was there, with her friend, in Cafe Leopard at the time Mumbai Massacre. When they were trying to save themselves from the blind gunshots, they found themselves in Hotel Taj. Here they tell what happened there, & how they could survive & manage to return back to their home.

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(from Dara, a young architect on vacation, and a former roommate of my girlfriend as well as Bassam)

mumbai: my story and how i survived.

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Today at 5:50am

Thanks to all of those who wrote me notes and posted on my wall. i just wanted to take a moment to pay respects to those who lost their lives to save us. I am praying for the hotel staff, police, and other reinforcements that were brought into Mumbai that deadly night that should have never occurred.

The horrific acts that happened in Mumbai was a life altering experience for me and something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Around 9:40 pm I went to the night market with my friend John.

As the store were closing we were excited to take a drink in the famous cafe, Leopolds- A small cafe that opens up completely to the street. After finishing a tall glass of watermelon juice there was a huge boom that hit an aquarium in the back of the room.

Everyone turned around simply think 'what was that?' but not expecting anything serious. The next thing I knew consecutive shots rang non-stop across the room. John threw me to the floor screaming "GET DOWN!" My purse was in the seat next to me, but I didn't even think for a second about it. I was bent over trying to run out. John pushed me to the floor again. I believed he saved my life. I still don't understand how I made it out when I later read there were two gunmen walking in with large guns. There was glass in my hands, the skin on my knees were rubbed off from hitting the floor- yet I couldn't feel the pain. My heart and adrenaline were so high I was just thinking "this IS NOT really happening to me". I never thought in a million years that I would ever be involved in a situation such as the ones I had read in the news. All I remember that night is running as fast as I could because I was convinced they would bomb the café. As I picked myself up off the glass shards on the floor I bolted down the road, my left hand dripping in blood. My shoes fell off, but I didn't care, I just kept running. John was right behind me, as he got closer he took my hand and said 'Don't ever let go of my hand'. I remember my way back to the hotel we had checked in at 9 hours before- The Taj Palace. It was only 3-4 minutes before we got to the hotel. John stopped and said "No! the Taj will be a target for sure!" but there we were, his pants splattered with someone else's blood, my hand dripping in my own. We had no other place to go. We didn't know the city yet, and we needed help. For it felt like the most secure place since we only had

half a second to make a move.

I walked through a line of cab drivers who stood there in confusion on the bullets they had heard just down the streets. All the doormen and guests turned to stare at john and I who came storming in with blood on our hands. The guests dressed in the fine evening wear stood at the glass lobby entrance, staring out in curiosity about the gun shots.They sounded like a string of fireworks going off. They were shocked when they saw us pace in. The Taj staff was continuously wonderful. The minute I entered the lobby, a man sat quickly took us to the couches in the lobby, sat me down and had someone run to grab a towel.

As soon he came back to wipe my leg, the all too familiar sound of gun shots came back into the lobby. I was so terrified I never even turned around to look at them, b ut was later told that they were men dressed in black with large guns shooting everyone in site. All I knew is that as soon as I heard those shots again I dove for the closed double doors on my right side. The men who were helping me did too. It was just an instinct we all just ran as fast as we could to the doors- I didn't even know where they led to. This all happened in literally seconds. It was a restaurant. There were still guests dining at the table with looks of confusion. We dashed through the restaurant looking for any door to run through-quite certain that somebody would follow us. We ran straight into the Kitchen. Stopped at the dead end. There was one exit door in the back that somebody had locked. I didn't have time for tears. I was set on survival.

The hotel staff was amazing!-especially one man in particular named Javed. He told everyone to stay calm, we were safe, the doors were locked. We didn't believe him. We knew they had guns and could burst in at any moment if they wanted to. There was an Indian girl next to me who was crying hysterically because she had separated from her friend and mother in the lobby. There was a Muslim women on the floor praying for her life. John and I, both Christian, knelt down beside her and repeated the Lord's prayer over and over again. The Hindu women with us were also praying. There in the kitchen three separate religions prayed for the same thing. Asking God to spare our lives. Although the room was filled with chefs, hotel staff, guests of different nationalities, different social classes, different religious backgrounds- absolutely NOTHING separated us that night. We were all the same. We were all holding one and others arms saying "it is going to be okay, the police will be here soon." The hotel staff was on the phone calling for reinforcement. Meanwhile, Javed came back with a first aid kit and continued to dress John and mine's wounds. As he was cleaning them the hotel staff came back to tell us that it would be safer if we came back into the restaurant because they had blocked the doors. We were scared if it was safe or not, but proceeded to the restaurant because we did not want to be in the kitchen alone. There was a large grand piano pushed against the doors and furniture piled up on top of it.

The rest of the story is written by John: ....30 others were already in there, and after our entry, they barricaded the doors with a grand piano. What followed, for us, was eight hours of entrapment, while guns, bombs and most terrifyingly an ever louder fire raged outside.

I am amazed at how lucid we were throughout the ordeal. Our bodies provide us with incredible clarity in a crisis. I kept thinking of Winston Churchill's quote, "When you're going through hell… keep going". Still, we were terrified. Stupidly, I persuaded Dara not to call her par ents. Thinking of my own mother, I thought she might have a heart attack if she knew what was happening. I wish I hadn't done this. Everyone else was on their cell phone.

The people in our room made the scene feel like a movie set: covered Islamic women, a hard focused German businessman, a tender hearted French, obnoxious hipsters, lithe and immaculately dressed blonde Russian girls, Indians, Muslims, Christians. Everyone of all religions were praying together that night on the floor of that restaurant.

Our first evacuation attempt, around 3 or 4 am, ended in more gunfire, and the few who had ventured out of the room, raced back in. Miraculously, we were evacuated around 7am.

It wasn't until I learned the news of what had happened, until I digested my own relief that I began to cry. I read about the deaths of the chief of police, the chief of counter-terrorism, the burned wife and children of the hotel manager, and I began to weep. I thought of the incredible and admirable bravery, presence and commitment of the Taj staff. And I thought of all these people, big and small, that had given so much to save us. I still cry when I think of it.

The journey home to was another adventure. We didn't know if it the attack was a one off event or the start of war, and we hurried to exit the country. Terrified, we waited 25 minutes to be let into the US embassy, while they checked their computers for our reco rds. Even though we had called three times to report we were coming and they had our names. It would have been a good tip for them to actually pre-print the identification of all of the Americans who had called in to state their names. As cars drove by the street in front of the embassy, I felt like I was sitting on top of a bull's eye. The guards did not speak English. The reception was staffed by an Indian, who would not come to the gate. We crouched behind a concrete piling, and I scanned the horizon for potential terrorists. When we were finally let in, an Indian woman told me I would need to pay $200 to get an emergency passport.. How did they know if we even had money? Dara lost her money, credit cards and even shoes in the attack at Leopold's. Luckily I had one credit card in my pocket.

Despite having only one other couple in their office, we waited two and a half hours for emergency passports. We were hoping to leave before sunset. We appreciated the fact that the embassy was working around the clock, and they explained that we waited almost three hours because they were busy answering the phones, but I felt that they were more helpful on the phone telling us to "stay calm" then actually helping us in person when we actually really needed it.

Before we arrived to the US embassy, the Taj staff at the evacuation center had taken photos on a digital camera and printed six passport sized pho tos for us. The embassy said the photos were not acceptable – they were not professionally taken. They told me that because they had no camera man, and I would need to go back into Mumbai to find a photo center. Everything in the city was closed. I was flabbergasted. The British embassy had sent emissaries to the evacuation center, the Spanish had arranged military transport for evacuation, and here, wearing ripped and bloody clothes, the US embassy was telling me I couldn't have an emergency passport because the quality of my photographs were not professionally taken. We screamed at them, and they acquiesced. I was further surprised to lean that we had to obtain a new visa from the Indian government to leave the country. The only place to obtain this was the South Mumbai police headquarters, which had also been attacked. The US embassy tried and failed to waive this rule. We had to go..

Remarkably, heroically, the driver the Taj hotel had provided us, Jabraj, had patiently waited for us during the 2+ hour delay at the US embassy. The embassy was kind enough to lend us one of our staff to help us find the Indian visa office, and so an extremely brave Indian woman nicknamed 'Nicky' went along. As we drove back into Colaba, the streets filled with police and army personnel. We found the visa office, and pulled in, but had to back up the car, as they were hauling out a dead body. When we got into the police station,20it was amazing how quick the Indians acting in getting our paper work done in less than five minutes!

Eventually we made it out of the country. I have seen in the press criticism of the hotel, of the Indian government and of their police, but I cannot sing their praises loudly enough. Their courage is inspiring. We mourn the horrendous loss of life. For those of us who survived, how will we ever repay this debt?

I am praying for guidance on what to do now, on how I can help. I am praying for the families of the deceased, and I am praying for the leaders of India. Violence cannot be defeated with violence, and an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.

If anyone has any information on how we can help India please contact me and others around the world to pitch in. Additionally, I hope that this news will allow our government gain insight from the situation- even if it is as simple as having a Polaroid camera on site or training techniques to better prepare US embassies around the world for the future.

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Drama is over....What next?

After a long struggle, & loosing some 195 people which includes 3 senior officers of police, a Major of NSG & several other police-men, the catastrophic drama is over. First time Mr. Home Minister did something good for the country & that is by putting down his papers.

People are anguished, deserted & angry on the failure of the government & its policies on terrorism. Postmortem has been started by Media Channels. Government is again blaming Pakistan for this & as usual Pakistan is saying when they themselves are victim of terrorism, why Indian Government is blaming them for this incident.

Things are being discussed but nothing is coming out. Leave common man, Government itself doesn't seem to be focused. Politicians are trying to blame others, for their mistakes; Government is confused, don't know what to do; & common man is feeling debilitated & enervated because of these continuous acts of terrorism. Taj has estimated the total loss to INR. 5 billions which doesn't include the hit on the brand India. India is not being perceived as safe country. Governments of different countries are asking their citizens for deferring the plans of traveling India, If any.

And in all this, I am feeling afflicted & tormented because I am seeing Brand India is being tarnished, my country is being perceived as unsafe country & the government is not able to understand how to handle this situation.

Spirit becomes Excuse

Every time heard about these incidents, I feel so helpless as nothing is in our hand while dealing with the bastards who had been attacking the sovereignty of the largest Democracy. In last couple of months, almost all the big cities of India have gone through several terrorist attacks & I don't know who is to blame. But If somebody asks me the same question then my question would be "Not at least Terrorists" , the simple reason is because they are terrorists & you can't expect anything good from them for the humanity. They are properly brain-washed by few radical group of people. If not they, then who should be blamed, simple answer comes to my mind is our soft attitude towards terrorism by the politicians & the government.

We have a Prime Minister, who just doesn't know what to do in these kind of crisis, who is a great economist, good bureaucrat or you can also say great scholar but sadly not a deserving candidate for Prime-minister's office. I don't know what goes in the Prime-minister office but at least it gives the impression that even that novice Gandhi Scion has more powers then Mr. Prime-minister. Then comes our Mr. Home-minster, first question arises when the people of his own constituency didn't find him capable of representing him in the parliament political party, how could our oldest political party choose him for the portfolio of home ministry & only Her Highness can give the answer. Next great personality who knocks on the doors of my mind is Mr Chief Minister, Mumbai. And you know what, I feel, he doesn't have any control on any activity happening in his state which has been proved very well in last couple of months. Besides these 'Three Stooges', there are few for whom militancy means one community only. They try to certify that anybody from their community can not be a terrorist even if prime suspects of any heinous crime are from his community.

Anyway, here I want to emphasize on the latest one in the list of terror acts of world history. The attack on Mumbai is very different from other terrorist activities in last few years. Here, innocent people were captivated without any reason, no use of big explosive was done though it was planned if terrorists had survived a little more. The only incident in India I can relate with this incident is the Plane Hijack in December 1999 though in that incident, people were made hostages with the demand of acquittal of three militants which were in Indian jails which didn't happen this time. They came with the solo motto of killing as many people as possible wanting nothing in return.

In these kind of situations, its very difficult to save the people because at one side security forces have to eliminate all the militants ensuring that no innocent give the life. At this time, the united courage of the hostages could be very supportive in handling the situation and rescuing maximum no. of people.

In 1999, Rupin Katyal was the one who protested a bit though it was a failed effort & cost him his life but when similar effort (a united effort) was made in the United 93 flight, which was allegedly targeted to Capitol Building OR White house, by the passengers of that flight, they saved the the capital of their nation & proved the patriotism.

In the Taj-Oberoi incident we lost more then 150 innocent people till now & death toll is still increasing intermittently. If even 50 people there could have the spirit of 'DO & Die' and protest against those terrorist in a united form, so many lives could be saved.

Here, what I think, are few possible steps which could help India in becoming a Safe country:

1. At least one young Man from each family should be sponsored for a compulsory Army Training for 1-2 years. If I get a chance now, I'll be the first one in accepting this challenge.

2. Second Police Force should be paid well. In USA, a police-man is being paid a salary more then a Software Engineer, but in India, a Police man with a service of 10 years is being paid half salary then a Software Engineer with 2 years of service.

3. Third, if history repeats itself and anyone of us finds him/herself in the hostages, don't just pray for your life,go ahead & motivate fellow people who could help you in fighting with those terrorists. If nobody agrees then fight alone, because you don't know if you'll remain to fight the terrorism after that.

Today I may not know anything but what I know is if I find myself any of the situations like United 93(Plane crashed after attack on twin towers), IA 814(Kandhar Plane Hijack) Or Taj Hotel, I'll not just come out without fighting.

Localized in a Globalized world

Yesterday I was reading an article on Rediff.com which was talking about the large population of Indian Americans who are more inclined towards Mr. Obama in coming Presidential election. In the same article I came across a society [SAALT(South Asian Americans Leading Together)] which fights for the Americans who are natives of South Asia & are victim of Hate Crimes by Native Americans.

Here I was seeing how difficult situations many Asians have gone through while staying in United States. There was a guy who was shot by few people & caught paralysis. Now his life has bound to a Wheel-chair, he can't work or I should say he is nothing but a dependent creature in this independent world. There was another old person who was beaten by few boys who were saying that this person should leave their country & go back to his home country.

There were many such instances when South Asian people were at the receiving end of Hate Crimes but my intention on writing this topic is not to emphasize what is happening with Indians in America but what I want to ask how we talk about free trade market, equal opportunities across the globe for any body of any ethnicity when we, ourselves, can't let our fellow Indians to work in our state. This is nothing but hypocrisy that we are lobbying in United States for allowing our people to work there by favoring Off-shoring but, a big BUT, we can't save the livelihood of our own citizens in our own country.

Today, I don't know what makes our fellow Indians to say that India is a greatest country in the world. We crib about our culture being ruined by western influence, but, frankly we don't have any culture if we can't respect the freedom of individuals, no Country is great if its people can't come together & fight against sinisters.

When a foreigner comes & replace a local worker in any job, a feeling of resentment is inevitable, but the kind of drama is going in India makes me feel ashamed that even after few thousands year of Indian history, we are still divided on the basis of cast & state.

The Only question I am asking here is why can't we called Indians only rather then Hindu, Muslim OR Bihari, Maharastrian.

Power is slipping......

This was a good discussion on Globalization, hearing views of different people in different countries & there apprehensions on the same. We were having dinner in a good restaurant of Atlanta Suburb. Our Client was treating us for the great work we had been doing for last couple of months. We were 5 people, two big managers of Client & two small developers-cum-designers-cum-analysts & one middle level manager from Vendor. Demographically one is Iranian, one is native from Czechoslovakia but a patriot of America & three Indians.

Between three glasses of Red wine & two Classic Martinis of Vodka, many social topics like food, wines, culture, profession & many things were being discussed. We talked about Iran, its home affairs & international affairs, its strained relationship with United states & how people live & think there & what we got to know that things which are in media are just contributing in making a bad impression about a country which otherwise a simple country of normal people.

As we're discussing these issue, topics like economy, cause of its depression & prospective consequences of the same were on the dinner table. It was first time when I realized how worried our fellow Americans are for the future of their children in a world where two different countries would have taken the tag of superpowers. There were not blind who couldn't see the Chinese domination in the manufacturing sector for making goods for the consumers in United states. They were also seeing how India is getting ready to capture the service sector & how Indians are few of the most competitive people in the world along with Chinese. The new thing what I got to know was people in America are worried up to this level that they are planning to teach their another foreign language other then French, Spanish & that is Mandarin. They should be very happy that they don't need to teach & learn Hindi cause even many Indians don't require Hindi at their work & English is the contact language.

At the time of so called recession which is not American only but Global, Anxiousness prevails even more that whats future has for their next generation. In whole discussion my only point was that in this global scenario, nothing in the world, can survive on itself. All markets are penetrated so much by other imported products that it becomes a little bit difficult to imagine that they would be able to work without one another.

IT & India....

Just now I was reading a story on rediff.com titled as "How IT changed the lives of rural youth". It is so true that IT & India are compliment to each other & in current scenario, either can't survive without other. I personally know many people who could change their & their family's life just because of the Information Technology. The erstwhile considered bane of India, its population, came out as a boon. People, who had never thought that their kids will go anywhere outside their village, are seeing their lives flourishing across the shores in cities like Amsterdam, Chicago, Shanghai, London & NYC. People who could never afford to buy a bicycle for their kids are now traveling in luxury cars like BMW & Mercs bought by their kids who earn green bucks.

And the wonderful thing is this is not the story of one or two guys who worked hard, studied under the lamp-post & had a meal in a day, this is the story of N no. of people who devoted & sacrificed all of the pleasure of their lives to make their children capable enough to earn this kind of life.

This is nothing but the start of a journey which is going to change the life of a big part of Indian population. I bow to the people who worked hard to make India an IT superpower.

Expectations...

"Keep your expectations low"; "Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst"; "Don't expect anything from others", these are the few statements we generally hear in our life and every-time I feel cheated or depressed or disappointed then I start thinking about these facts of our life.

These things teach me one more thing & that is "Never feel deserted if something goes wrong & never go overjoyed if something goes right". It makes me advise others that though celebration should be appropriate but should not go beyond a limit & similarly we should not over-criticize ourselves for a failure.
Connecting to this, is our latest visit to the historical city of Washington DC. Actually this trip started with New York & because we had enough time to include an extra place in our tourism plan we chose Washington because of its proximity to New York. As much we liked New York, Washington disappointed us. After seeing New York, we had the similar expectations from Washington too. The life & the crowd, what we had in New York, were found missing in Washington. We did find Washington boring not because it is so but because we expected something which is not its nature. We tried to compare two different kind of cities, we tried to compare Times Square with Jefferson Memorial. We might have found it interesting if we had gone there without any expectation.
So Now I am just thinking, is it just our hopes & expectations which make outcomes of few events bad & disappointing while of other seems to be great?

Life was difficult without you.....

It was so difficult to live without you. Since I had stepped my feet on the most coveted land of the world, I had been missing you. Such a great companion who never expected anything from me, you were so low maintenance. You were always there for me whenever I needed you. I just love you. But......
Today I am not missing you that much as I used to be, because I have found a new one. A dusky one but so sleek so smooth & soft that I call it my black beauty. But still you will remain my first love because you came first. I learnt, whatever I know, from you.
All the chords I know, all the scales I know, whatever songs I can play on you, I learnt from nowhere but from you. It was a relationship of almost 1 year when I had to leave you at my home where, I don't know, how you would be feeling, how my Mom & others would be taking care of you. I pray you would be fine & will give me the same sound when I come back.
Now listen about my newly found black beauty. After lots of search & much struggle one day I met it on the internet, it was so lovely that I couldn't resist to make it mine. And within 1 week it was with me. I unbuttoned it & just held it in my hands, it was lovely, it was pretty & as I connected it to my little Amp, it did sound even better.
Hope the Love I've grown up with you, will continue to flourish with it.

Rise in Love or Fall in Love

"I have fallen in love with her", yesterday one of my friends was telling me pointing to one of her friends. He is not the type of guy who, I believe, had ever been in these things. He did well in his academics & then in his career too. His colleagues used to think that he was a diligent guy, all of his bosses were impressed by his sincerity, attitude & performance. He has been giving good results & always rising since his first day in the corporate culture.
That is what the point of my thinking that a person, who had never fallen in his life, was saying that he had fallen & that’s in LOVE. As much I've heard & understand from others' experiences that love brings happiness in life, it makes you a better person, it gives you a confidence you need and so on. Then how can anybody fall in love. All those characteristics of love I know do not ally with this at least.
In my opinion, if you have started liking somebody and, you think, not just you want to live but you can't live without him/her, then you are in love. And when you are in love, you don't fall in love but you rise in love.

So what is your take on that? Have you fallen in love :-)?

Lead India..II

Two simple alphabets...D...O, place them side by side however & they form a word powerful enough to turn mass of people into a nation.......
Do
The last time we decided to Do or Die it changed the map of the world.
Today we reached to a stage where the eyes of the world are on us again.
So what are we going to do?
How are we going to change a land of philosophers into a land of Doers?
Are we going to keep thinking about what we should be doing or do something about what we are thinking?
Are we going to simply shrug our shoulders & blame our infrastructure & our bureaucracy or are we going to roll-up our sleeves, get up & actually do something about it?

The truth is this.... thinking may happen from an arm chair but doing must happen from your feet.
Thinking may be a great way of getting things started but doing is the only way to get things done.
And let’s face it, you never really caught in a traffic jam, you are the traffic Jam.

Today we are in 60th year of independence, 60 full years, more then a half a century but we are still happy being called an Emerging Economy, a Potential Superpower or a Sleeping Tiger. This must change.
& it’s only possible when some of us dare to be the change

Let’s stop basking about a glorious future & day dreaming about a great future.

Let’s start by dominating today & domination………

……..DOmination starts with DO.

- Excerpts from Lead India TV Ad.

Lead India..... - I

Scene:

Police-man is sleeping in his official vehicle.

It’s raining. Kids are playing in the street. One tree has fallen down may be because of strong winds or heavy rain. Unfortunately, tree is in middle of the road & has jammed the traffic. Everyone is blaming local authorities for not clearing the obstacle in their way because of which they are not able to move towards opportunities lying ahead in their way.

One Gentleman : Isliye tax bharte hein kyaa (Frustrated person is shouting why the hell do they pay taxes). But I don't think there is anybody noticing him except one policeman who just shows him a stick & ask him to go away.

PA of a local politician : Sir aapke liye us paar car ka intezaam kiya hai (Sir we have managed a car for you other side of the broken tree). But I don't think this person even deserve to have a cycle on public expenses.

One Girl : I just hate this country (Must be coming from somewhere where there is no problem). But I think she should first hate herself that she is saying these words.

Either everybody is cursing somebody for this thing, or they are just not bothered enough to see what is happening there. People are just somehow managing to pass this obstacle in their own way.
Kids are playing

In this turmoil, we see a kid, must be coming back from his school, seeing everything, noticing his fellow countrymen, suddenly realizes that there is nobody who is thinking of removing this log of wood from the road so everybody could move forward. He gets down from his school bus & starts walking towards that obstruction lying down in his way to his home.

Still he is not noticeable.

Few People are still cursing somebody who is not there to reply them.
Few are just not worried about anything because they are not compelled to care about that.
Now that little boy comes closer to the tree, drops his bag, & starts pushing the tree. Not to surprise, it is not even quivering a little bit. He is still trying but of no effect. Now people start noticing him but they are not even thinking of helping him. Everybody is cursing the mess but nobody is bothered enough to help this kid in clearing this mess. Suddenly some street kids join him. Then few people join him, few more & after sometime its sizable number of people who could push that tree out of the road.

This was one of the videos for promotion of Lead India initiative from Times group.

I don't know why but I was so much moved by this clip that it brought tears in my eyes. I was not thinking what those people were doing, I was thinking if I have done anything which could bring me a closer to this daring boy. Answer was affirmative but few times. That means I still need to work hard with honesty & sincerity for getting more 'Yes' then the 'No' when answering this question.

Today I am asking myself this question. What about you?

If you wish you can see this video on YouTube

"Missing you...."

My Guitar Club is Missing me, I miss my college buddies; you may be missing her, she may be too; My family is missing me & I miss them too. There are so many people you may be missing but How does it feel when somebody says "missing you / Tumhaari yaad aa rahi hai"? Obviously great, at least I feel great. Whenever somebody says that s/he is missing your presence either because of some special occasion or just without any reason, you feel lucky because at least there is somebody who cares for you, who needs you with him/her, who thinks your presence could make those moments of their life even more cheerful which are not more then some happy moments now.

But is it really easy to express to somebody that you are missing her/him? Definitely it is not that easy as it may sound. It has been more then 10 years since my high school, I have never told my family that I am missing them. Was it because I didn't miss them? No, I miss them most but now I feel I can't say that to them because it will show that I am not strong enough, which is not admissible to me.

In the same manner there are many people who are missing you, who need you in their life but never told you this ever. But, believe me, you should not do the same. Always express it if you are missing somebody or otherwise you may loose that person because s/he doesn't know if you really need her/him in your life.

So..Go....Grab the moment & Express what you need to say.

Across the Shores.....

We talk a lot about it, we work on it but probably we just don't understand it. What I am saying here may have come out from my own perception only but this is the meaning I get from Onshore-Offshore Model.

It is the concept almost every person, who works in Indian IT industry or who gets some work after developed world bangalored few of the jobs to this third world country, would be aware about . Frankly saying, Indian IT industry is surviving on this concept upto a large extent as still Indian IT industry does not has domestic market for IT & IT enabled services that are being provided by plethora of shops across the country. The erstwhile curse, its population, of India turned up as a boon for the Indian business, whose big part now comes from IT.

By the way here we are not discussing about Indian IT industry because much has already been said about that at many places, in many forums, we want to talk a little about its Onshore-Offshore Model, in which one team which needs to work on one project gets divided into two parts. Out of these two teams, One comes to Client Location & other works from their native location to make the processes cost effective.

However easy it may sound, its a tedious task to manage the expectations, egos & productivity of these two teams to achieve a common goal. As somebody gave a comment in my previous entry that "its half of the world which is suffering from Ego issues which are also the root cause of most of the altercations....", Managing Egos is a most daunting task of this model. Now there are two type of compositions of an Onshore team:

1>

Few members of Offshore team who had been working on the same project for some time, recognized by their supervisors & Clients, get the chance to represent the team in front of clients / customers. OR

2>

Some people with required number of experience who got selected by business managers come to work as an interface between company & client.

First scenario is still quiet manageable, however, managing these two different teams that are working for same project to achieve common goals, becomes more complicated in second case. Few reasons what I could elicit from my understanding & experience in this model are:

a>

In First scenario, where a person who came to Onshore is well versed with the problems because s/he may already have faced those problems at Offshore & in most of the cases s/he would be having a good & cordial relationship with her/his team.

But In second scenario, People who come to become the interface, are very new people for the team members who had been working on that project for a considerable duration of time. This low level of comfort between these teams creates many issues. Among them & the biggest, I understand, is Ego-clashes between counterparts.

b>

Another problem these teams face generally is lack of understanding about each other's work between counterparts which becomes even worse in second scenario.

c>

Third, & however not so important reason, from my point of view, is Day-Time difference which creates many hurdles in the proper communication between both teams.

There are many problems, nevertheless, as each problem has some solution these do as well. From my understanding we should follow few things especially if we are in second scenario:

I>

Existing Team Members should be more accommodating towards changes because change is the only constant thing in life. They should respect & try to understand the new members who are at Onshore.

II>

New members should be patient enough & should work to prove themselves that they really deserve a ever-longing position like the one they got.

III>

Leaders of teams across the shores should communicate regularly to eliminate the communication gap from the first day itself. This should come as a initiative from the one who is senior in the project.

IV>

The leader, no matter which side of shore he is, should not be over-enthusiastic & knowingly or unknowingly should not try to become a leader of old team which is already being led by somebody.

V>

At least for first few days senior people of project should work together to create a better understanding between themselves only after that other team members should be involved. Till that time they should be led in the usual manner as they were being.

In short, if we could manage only two things, Ego & Changes, we would not find any difficulty with this fundamental & coveted model of Indian IT.

EGO....My Biggest Enemy

"The “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought." this is the way in which Dictionary.com defines Ego.

I have lost many people I wanted to be with & I don't know thats because of me, my ego or because of the other person. I am shy of talking to others because I am afraid of being ridiculed. Though its not up to the extent that I could term it Catagelophobia, but I have definitely suffered a lot from it. People say I am confident, people say I am very active but nobody knows how much effort I make to overcome this fear. But when it comes to personal relationships this fear is still invincible for me.

I don't know why its today that I am thinking about it, may be because today I am realizing that its a long way I need to go to exterminate this ego from my inner self, otherwise I'll find myself alone in this world in the crowd of billions.

Hope...The Spinal Cord of The Life

Hope is the only thing which remains there till you die because once you loose hope you are not alive any more. Sometimes you know the truth but you choose not to believe it because you gotta hope that things will turn up in the way you want. But there are many times when you face something which makes you realize that you are not practical towards the life & expecting something to happen which is next to impossible.

When you like someone you like everything about her/him, you like everything linked to her & everything having a least similarity with her. Today I like all natives of one particular state, I like all people who got anything matches with her, because that reminds me about her & that make me smile. We know we are poles apart but what make me feel good that opposite poles attract each other though on the contrary what we forget every time that though opposite poles attract each other they never meet.

Its not that I am not trying, but when anybody asks me about anybody I like the most, its only one face which comes to my mind.

Its almost everyday that my colleagues ask me about my girl-friend, a person I love & every time I am not sure what to say. I can't tell that there is someone I have a big crush on but we are not more then friends any more.......

....& I don't see any other in my life so close at least in near future.

An alien missing many things.....

"An alien authorized to work"....thats the manner in which USA government defines a foreigner on Working Visa. Its more then 10 days for me that I am in states. With mixed feelings I can't say whether I like to be here or not. When I do the analysis then few things favor that I should like this place then few other things made me sad.

There are few great things I like about US like....

Before I came here, somebody told me that US people are best people in the world & I think that person was not wrong up to extent. We, in Mumbai, just claim to be friendly but these are the people who are more friendly then us.

They care for others.

Apart from People, life is comfortable over here. they have got a standard of living here which is not there in India. Infrastructure, roads etc.

You can afford luxury over here, which is a property of few millionaires in a city like Mumbai.

The TCS -Equifax group I got is really good. people are very helpful & empathetic.

But on the same time there are few things I am really struggling to cope up with:

Struggling to make an impression on fellow Co-workers. Though my American manager is projecting me as a technology expert, I don't think I have been able to impress my Fellow Indian Co-workers till now.

Other thing, I am really struggling in getting a Mobile Connection, which is just too difficult without SSN.

But above all, I am just missing someone so much that out of 24 hrs, 12 hrs, this person is on my mind. Though we were not talking or meeting frequently when I was in Mumbai, I am missing her too much here.....more then what I expected when I was coming here.

First evening in US.....

Things have really not been easy till now. I used to think it should be very comfortable to reach your place while traveling overseas but as a wise man said, when things start going another way, then they don't stop until u reach your destination. It happened to me as well and my struggle continued in the US.Things have really not been easy till now. I used to think it should be very comfortable to reach your place while traveling overseas but things were not that easy.

After getting down at Newark International Airport, New Jersey, I tried to get some info about the hotel where there was a room booked by Air India for my overnight stay before I proceed to Atlanta. I somehow located the Air India counter and a fellow Indian over there. He inquired and told me that it was Hotel Holiday Inn I needed to check-in. As I stepped out of the airport, wait for my shuttle seemed even longer because of the chilling winds piercing my body like a knife.

However, my real challenge came when I reached the hotel. It was an unexpected situation. The guy at the reception told me that the booking slip I had with me was not enough & he required an Air India Voucher. Now things were becoming difficult cause I didn't even have any contact no. of Air India where I could call & confirm the things. Ultimately I asked for the manager & told him that I'll pay for myself but before he should confirm that with Air India & check the status. He agreed, after 10-20 minutes of talk, the situation came under control. The manager made a Voucher for me, gave me the keys & escorted me to the room where I was expected to have some rest before morning struggle begins.

As I was too tired, I just unbuttoned myself & got into the bathroom where I had my first interaction with Toilet-paper :-). After relieving myself with this toilet paper I just switched on the taps for tub & just unwound myself in the hot water of the tub.

Couldn't sleep because of back pain arose due to a long journey & nervousness of catching the next flight. For the flight of 8 O' Clock, I got ready @ 3'O Clock only & reached the airport by 4 to catch a flight to Atlanta.

By 10 PM I was walking down the longest airport terminal as I was not aware of the shuttle trains inside the airport. Anyway, finally, my struggle seemed over as I stepped into the cab to Exit 11, Alpharetta home. I was so relieved reaching my destination, I gave the driver $50 tip on $50 invoice.

First trip to states

Flying across sea-shores is definitely a new experience & if you are doing it the first time then it becomes really special......

Saturday, Feb 28, 2008, early Morning in India.....didn't sleep whole night...coz next day got to catch the flight.

Pic: Waiting before boarding the flight

It's 3' O Clock...Roomies were just trying to pass night somehow to avoid sleep, so did I. At 3:30 I got up, zipped my bags & ask them to get ready to see me off to Airport. I went to look for a cab. Got the cab, loaded my bags & ourselves in it.

Within few minutes, 4' O clock, and we were @ the airport. My room-mates were not allowed go beyond a point, so I had to see them off there only & proceed to check-in my luggage. And by 4:30 AM, after completing all the immigration formalities, I was in waiting hall for the flight of 7:50 AM. It was really very boring & frustrating to wait in a room on sub-normal temperature & I was still thinking about yesterday's evening how sweet it was. To save myself with this, I plucked earphones of my mobile in my ears to listen to some music which could cost me very dearly. While I was enjoying my music, they were announcing the boarding of the flight AI-191 & it was just 10 minutes before the flight when I asked somebody about it & got the answer the flight had already started being boarded. It was really a panic situation for me. I picked my handbag & started rushing towards Gate# 16 for the boarding. Suddenly I got a call from an unknown no. & it was the Pilot of the AI-191. He was asking why I m being late & his flight is being delayed because of me. I didn't have anything to say except seeking an apology.

Anyway, I boarded the flight.

The first view of an international flight was surely not pleasant. So many people, so many bags, Air-hostess 'aunts' (as it was Air India) blocking the way to move forward. SO much turmoil in the flight.....God....guess it was not enough for the day :-), yet to see much more. Somehow I got my allotted seat but what I see - somebody had already captured it & this was the last thing you could expect on a flight at least in an international flight. As I thought I might have mistaken, I asked Air-hostess about Seat# 49A & she helplessly pointed towards the same seat. Now I had to confront the person directly who were sitting there. But, oh god, they were German People & not very good with English. Nevertheless, what I could understand from their statement that they were father & son who were allotted separate seats while they wanted to sit together. They were asking me if I could sit on the seat allotted to them & I answered that I requested for window seat & I wanted to sit there only. On this, that person requested his son to go on his seat but his eyes were still requesting me.

I don't know why, but this was the first time in a long time when I got the feeling that I was not a person only, I was an Indian & my adamant nature would affect India's image adversely at least in the eyes of all those foreigners who were seeing this conversation. So I left my point & relinquished my seat & took another seat.

It was the longest day of my life, lasted almost 20 hrs. After almost 10 hrs we had a halt at Paris International Airport & those German people left the flight there. while they were leaving the flight they thanked me but I saw that as they were not thanking me, but with the gesture & posture of 'Namaste', they were thanking an Indian. I acknowledged that & smiled.

Last day in Music Club……….

It was a good guitar session, probably my last one. All the old club members were asked to play a song for new members & most of my fellow members played really well & set the benchmark which I could not undermine. I had to perform if not above than at par to their performances. I didn’t have many choices of songs because most of the good songs had already been played. So I chose one of toughest song we learnt & that was ‘Hotel California’, such a lovely & iconic song performed by guitar maestros, Eagles.

As I started introducing myself, my Guitar Instructor demanded a round of applause for me for the coordination I had been doing for last few months, & obviously I felt good. After that I played full song on my instrument but did one unpardonable mistake & that was I didn’t finish it on a high note. Nevertheless, I was happy. I was satisfied; I got few round of applause for this performance.

I was feeling really emotional as I was attending my last session.

I want to promise myself, may not learn guitar from a professional instructor any more, I’ll improve myself on my own & will carry this as a passion through out my life.

Sensex ....a Yo-Yo......

Tuesday, very bad day for Indian investors. People lost their hard-earned money. I am sure many must have given a call to hospitals to send a Ambulance to pick them up. Things were really not understandable why suddenly people panicked so much that they started cashing out their portfolios on the half of the price they bought. There was not change in Indian economy, there is no change in technicals or fundamentals of most of the companies at least in last 2 days, then why market doomed was kissing 1000 or 2000 points below the level on these days.

Few reasons what I can understand for this Doomsday Conspiracy may be:

Future Capital & Reliance Power IPO

Things started worsening on the same day when Future Capital IPO was scheduled to close & Reliance made the things even worse by sucking out more then INR 100,000 crores from the market.

Global Cues

Though it’s difficult to understand how suddenly things became so worse in the global market that it pulled down each other. Though there was always a fear of recession in US economy but it was not the trigger at least this time for this global downturn.

Very high valuations of the companies listed in Indian Equity

Though talking about first two points, I don’t understand why these trade Gurus & Analysts are overlooking third point which is also equally important as first two. Its not only Indian equity, but other Asian equities also on the verge of over-heating, but the sentiments had been so strongly positive that people were buying on those levels also which they could see in their dreams only.

Now what:

Few things which can give new breath of life to Indian equity are:

Fed Cut:

Mr. Ben Barnanke, did the same what we’re expecting. He injected enough liquidity to the market by cutting Federal Rate by 75 basis points, biggest in past 23 years American economy. This will definitely boost the moral of the market at least in short-term.

IPOs' Listing:

Those IPOs which sucked the money out of market can give new life to market, when people will start getting their refunds. From Indian perspective, the listing of these scrips especially Reliance Power will be a most important event of the Indian economy in recent past & near future.

In my understanding, Markets has got bottomed out. Things do not look any mmore gloomier from here because at lest two out of three reasons mentioned above (Global Cues & valuations), should be the biggest strength of the market now after enough liquidity (because of Fed-rate cut) has been injected & valuations should not be expected any better.

Hope today will be different then last two days, & once again we’ll able to see the smile on the investors’ faces.

Will this make any impact on Hospital’s business, because if market booms, nobody will call Ambulance? :-)

6 kms in 28 minutes.......

Life is like Marathon. After running few miles, every next moment you run, you feel like you will fall next moment, but then there is some motivational force, few say divine force which pushes you to complete the race.

This is the spirit we saw in Mumbai Marathon 2008. This is not the first time when I was participating in this one of the Greatest Race On Earth (other GROEs are Nairobi, Singapore & Hongkong), but every-time I feel different. Whoever was there could catch those rare glimpses of spirit of humanity, spirit to struggle, spirit to excel & spirit to motivate others as well who are running with you. This is the same thing we do in Life, we push ourselves hard, we break the limits, we get slow, we feel tired, but we fight back & ultimately we triumph & come out victoriously. But if we think we haven’t triumphed yet....”tab phir picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!!! (Movie hasn’t reached its climax, my friend!!!)”.

Anyway let me picturise something about this year’s Marathon, which was really amazing. Runners were amazing, Volunteers were great, Music bands & Cheerleaders were awesome, Media was good & above all, Crowd was very wonderful & supportive. As I entered into Azaad Maidan from where we were supposed to start the race, it was crowded like any other big fare in India.

Pic: TCS Corporate Challenge participants in Corporate Challenge Area

When you are a serious runner Dream run always gives you a tough starting point where you have to face so much crowd when it starts. We get only two options, one, you come in front anyhow & just shoot off from there with the "Get Set Go", two, you spend whole of your time in crossing those layers of people to run.

And as a serious runner myself I chose the first option. I came in front of the crowd & jst shot off as the rope was down.

I (in TCS Tunic-Shirt, Red & Yellow Headband, TCS cap in one hand & mobile in other hand) was very excited & determined to give my best & get my best timing in this race. I started with first 10 participants & was trying hard to finish the race in sub-30 mins. On the, Pizzeria-turn, TCS Music band was playing, but till I could see them, my speed had taken me ahead. There were few Indian participants who were running ahead me but few Non-Indians were running pretty well. As I completed 3 Kms. My will-power was trying to leave me, but the self-esteem was still there, & that kept me running. On the Fly-over, my self-esteem also got an excuse because there was hardly any spectator. I slowed down my speed & started walking. But it was only 20 seconds, that one little boy, who was running behind me & motivated me to run, & after that I just couldn’t feel like stopping myself before finish line.

I had finished the race in 28 mins, bettering my last time of 30 mins. I was feeling great, though my eyes were burning, my body was sweating, my hamstrings were paining but when you have given your best & finished the race in first 10 participants, its obvious to feel great.

TCS Marathon Runners

I really enjoyed this. Now I am looking to participate in some other marathon also may be somewhere in United States.

From marketing perspective, both lead sponsors Standard Chartered & TCS got the desired visibility among the eye-balls. Though they must have spent few crores for this one-day event but it was really worth.

Hope to see the same or better ambience next time……till then bye from Marathon on the roads & lets run the Marathon-life with the same enthusiasm, same eagerness, same motivation & same will-power.

Hats-Off to Marathon Spirit.